Dad,
I miss you. It still comes in waves. Someone who didn't know pops up and I start re-telling all the details. I'm there again. It all comes rushing back.
Mom is trying to decide if she wants to move here. Michael is too. Of course I want that. I hate her being alone all the way over there. She's low right now Dad. I mean of course she is. She wants to teach, to honor you. You told her to keep teaching. In some ways it's helping her I think. But I see her pain. A light is out. She is tired, no exhausted. She seems beat up. I want her here so I can take care of her. Prop her up and hug her everyday. She needs that. It's so hard without you.
We are going to Big Sur and San Francisco still this Christmas. I'm taking your ashes there. I hate even saying that. But you said you were looking forward to that trip. I really was too, for you. I wanted it so bad for you Dad. I wanted that trip and those memories. So we will still go. And bring you with us.
I hate cancer and I love you.
Christal
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